This blog is in honor of both people who read it. Tanna and someone who got carried away clicking on random blogs...
Potty training is an adventure. I've yet to hear two similar stories. Some kids learn quick. Some kids learn slow. Some kids take great pride in both the size and number of turdlets dropped into the fishbowl. I'm proud of my two children. The eldest, Elizabeth, drops some bombs that are filled with hot dogs, cheese and pride. Ethan watches the bathroom door tirelessly as he waits for an unsuspecting user to leave the door open. Then, he kind of crawls (arms crawl, one leg crawls, one leg trying two walk with a knee that refuses to touch the ground) to the toilet where his life's mission is to at the least splash in the tinted water that smells like coffee. With some luck, he can turd bob...
This weekend, Elizabeth successfully pooped in the toilet. She does a pretty good job of finding the toilet. Unless we're outside. All bets are off. She went golfing with me and peed on the green. This weekend, she dropped her pants in the middle of the yard, tripped over them and peed sitting in the grass. Awesome.
This time she made it. She pushed. She pooped. I was proud. She was happy.
"Look dad! Dadda, babae (baby), Eh-an (Ethan)."
First glance, I was confused. I only saw two turds, not three.
Found it.
Three turds. All named according to size. I always wondered what an obese 1 year old would look like if he was a turd...
Elizabeth wasn't done yet. She ran to the living room, grabbed her mom and showed her the masterpiece. Tanna was disgusted. I was thrilled. I have handed the turd show and tell torch to my daughter. (Unless I have a really big one, but that's what cell phone cameras and facebook are for.)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
New Toys!
Since Ethan is a big deal, he got to participate in two birthday parties last Saturday. While we haven't had time to discuss the parties, I think he really enjoyed spending time with friends and family. He also really enjoyed opening all of his presents and got everything he wanted. Well almost....
Elizabeth really looks out for her little brother and works tirelessly to make sure all of his needs are met. A humble servant.
Today she recognized that Ethan's vast array of toys were not what he really needed. He really needed something that only Elizabeth could provide.
She then took it upon herself to meet that need.
She dropped her pants.
She crapped on the floor.
She gave him a scoop to accompany his newest gift.
He shoveled.
He squished.
He threw.
He smiled and laughed.
Suddenly, his mood changed. Overcome with sudden determination and unbreakable focus, his large head manipulated his small fingers and the grabbed a small piece of the remaining gift. Slowly he drew it closer. His head begin to tip back. His mouth opened.
I entered the living room, surveyed the situation and screamed 'NOOOO!' with Mel Gibson Braveheart enthusiasm. While I realized that Ethan wouldn't listen, I hoped the sheer volume would scare him so bad that he couldn't possibly worry about his next bite.
He jerked. Looking up, his face turned and bottom lip began to quiver. Beginning to cry, he dropped to all fours and began crawling my way, smashing feces between his fingers and the floor. Crawling through the mess he'd created for me.
Now what? Pick him up? Shoo him towards the shower? Grab a foot and drag him outside to be hosed off? Hopeless, I just picked him up and began to wash him. He willingly shared much of his gift with me and I managed to get bits and pieces all over myself.
Four lessons:
1 - Lesson 3 is really important.
2 - Elizabeth has a servant's heart. Would you be willing to dump all over the floor just to make someone else happy?
3 - Don't eat your fingernails.
4 - Don't forget lesson 3!
Elizabeth really looks out for her little brother and works tirelessly to make sure all of his needs are met. A humble servant.
Today she recognized that Ethan's vast array of toys were not what he really needed. He really needed something that only Elizabeth could provide.
She then took it upon herself to meet that need.
She dropped her pants.
She crapped on the floor.
She gave him a scoop to accompany his newest gift.
He shoveled.
He squished.
He threw.
He smiled and laughed.
Suddenly, his mood changed. Overcome with sudden determination and unbreakable focus, his large head manipulated his small fingers and the grabbed a small piece of the remaining gift. Slowly he drew it closer. His head begin to tip back. His mouth opened.
I entered the living room, surveyed the situation and screamed 'NOOOO!' with Mel Gibson Braveheart enthusiasm. While I realized that Ethan wouldn't listen, I hoped the sheer volume would scare him so bad that he couldn't possibly worry about his next bite.
He jerked. Looking up, his face turned and bottom lip began to quiver. Beginning to cry, he dropped to all fours and began crawling my way, smashing feces between his fingers and the floor. Crawling through the mess he'd created for me.
Now what? Pick him up? Shoo him towards the shower? Grab a foot and drag him outside to be hosed off? Hopeless, I just picked him up and began to wash him. He willingly shared much of his gift with me and I managed to get bits and pieces all over myself.
Four lessons:
1 - Lesson 3 is really important.
2 - Elizabeth has a servant's heart. Would you be willing to dump all over the floor just to make someone else happy?
3 - Don't eat your fingernails.
4 - Don't forget lesson 3!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Teem Hanna?
Teem Hanna is Tanna, Elizabeth, Ethan, and Matt.
Tanna Hanna can be credited with the creative name.
Matt Hanna is stuck with updates.
The name really means so much more. It's the hierarchy within our home.
1. Tanna
2. Elizabeth
2b. Ethan
4. Matt
I'm not complaining. As a matter of fact, I'm thrilled to be sleeping inside the house. While we love our children equally, Elizabeth trumps Ethan on the hierarchy because of size (barely), motor skills and pure determination. Until Ethan can knock Elizabeth over, steal toys at will and stop her from 'styling' his hair with a squirt bottle and stiff comb, he's stuck at 2b.
Also, don't tell Elizabeth that she is #2. While she occasionally is forced to admit that momma, dadda, gampa and ganma are the bosses, I doubt her sincerity. I think #1 and #2 will be jockeying for position constantly over the next 15 years or so. Doesn't make the bottom of the food chain look so bad does it?
My wife has instructed me to make clever and funny blog updates. We'll see how this goes.
Look for humorless updates irregularly...
Tanna Hanna can be credited with the creative name.
Matt Hanna is stuck with updates.
The name really means so much more. It's the hierarchy within our home.
1. Tanna
2. Elizabeth
2b. Ethan
4. Matt
I'm not complaining. As a matter of fact, I'm thrilled to be sleeping inside the house. While we love our children equally, Elizabeth trumps Ethan on the hierarchy because of size (barely), motor skills and pure determination. Until Ethan can knock Elizabeth over, steal toys at will and stop her from 'styling' his hair with a squirt bottle and stiff comb, he's stuck at 2b.
Also, don't tell Elizabeth that she is #2. While she occasionally is forced to admit that momma, dadda, gampa and ganma are the bosses, I doubt her sincerity. I think #1 and #2 will be jockeying for position constantly over the next 15 years or so. Doesn't make the bottom of the food chain look so bad does it?
My wife has instructed me to make clever and funny blog updates. We'll see how this goes.
Look for humorless updates irregularly...
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